All posts in category Workplace Bullying and Harassment

Are Female Bullies Flying Under the Radar?


Evelina Silveira, President Diversity at Work

Every woman I have ever spoken to has a story about female bullying. Yet, after 16 years of working 1:1 with workplace bullies and harassers, only about 5% of my clients have been female. I began to wonder why this could be. So, I started digging deeper into my experiences with workplace bullying and harassment and the stories others shared with me.

I noticed that males tend to bully in profoundly different ways than women.

In my practice, I have remarked that men’s bullying/harassing behaviour typically involves:

– Raising their voice

– Physical intimidation – slamming doors, punching walls

– Name-calling

– Threats

– Sarcasm

Essentially, their actions are most overt, and there are usually witnesses, although not always. For example, male bullies describe what they do as “venting” to release anger and control the situation.

On the other hand, women appear to be more covert with their bullying tactics, which could be why so few end up in the Human Resources department. Let’s look at a few examples:

– Excluding other females from social/work networks.

– Sharing gossip and rumours.

– Making derogatory remarks about employees behind closed doors.

– Silent treatment.

– Passive-aggressive actions like managing an employee’s/co-worker’s reputation behind the scenes.

– Giving co-workers/staff extra work because they don’t like them or don’t belong to the clique.

– Withholding information to do their job better.

Just because the actions are covert doesn’t make them less damaging. The victim may not know what is happening because nothing is said to them directly. They may notice a difference in how people treat them, but they cannot put their finger on it. The uncertainty and confusion can lead victims to second-guess themselves and “crazy-make.” Although emotionally and psychologically impacted by the events, the victim doesn’t have the same proof she may have if the bullying/harassment was out in the open.

I have many theories about why this happens. As females, we are always taught to be “nice,” “sweet,” and passive. From an early age, we socialized to be “likeable, which means conforming to an expectation of how an ideal female should behave. Overt actions like calling people names to their faces or yelling at them would make them instantly unlikeable by most bystanders. However, their covert bullying can give them the best of both worlds –they appear friendly on the surface while plotting abuse behind the scenes. My experiences have shown this to be true. I had two bosses who were friendly towards all staff and appeared to care about them, but behind the scenes, it was different. Once the door was closed, I remember having ageist and bigoted comments made to me. My boss told the Director I had yelled at her, left in a huff and slammed the door. None of that had happened. That was genuinely frightening when I realized the level of deception.

I am not saying women only bully covertly because that is not true. However, as leaders and HR professionals, you must also be in tune with the dynamics below the surface. When conducting workplace investigations, you may want to ask questions that include harmful gossip and exclusion from work groups. Is the workload shared, or are the less “likeable” people getting the most work or the worst jobs?

So, what can you do:

– Ensure that your respectful workplace/anti-bullying harassment training includes covert forms and their impacts on victims.

– Provide staff with training to communicate disagreements assertively and respectfully.

– Challenge gossip and the rumour mill – acknowledge that commenting about others not around to defend themselves is cowardly, passive-aggressive and disrespectful.

To learn more about our innovative and rehabilitative program for workplace bullies and harassers, visit our business website at https://www.diversityatworkcommunications.com/sensitivity/

We train internationally.

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by diversityatworkinlondon on June 27, 2023  •  Permalink
Posted in Bullying, Empathy Training, equitable hiring practices, Harassment, Implicit Bias, selection, Sensitivity Training, Women, Women Bullies, Women Bullies in the Workplace, Workplace Bullying and Harassment
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on June 27, 2023

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2023/06/27/are-female-bullies-flying-under-the-radar/

MANAGING YOUR ANGER AT WORK – Webinar


In a previous career, Evelina Silveira taught anger management skills to thousands of correctional clients and took what she learned to apply it to her practice with workplace bullies.  
If you are struggling with managing your anger at work; this webinar is for you. It offers practical suggestions and reflective exercises.
You owe it to yourself to improve your relationships and feel better physically and emotionally.
This is a guided anger management webinar. Participants will receive a workbook in advance and be asked to print it off and have it available for the exercises.
Topics covered:

  1. Your personal anger signs.
  2. Anger and Feelings
  3. Triggers
  4. Self-Talk
  5. Anger De-escalation Techniques
  6. Personal Responsibility 
  7. Next Steps 

DISCLAIMER:  This webinar will not deal with individual anger management issues. It is not a substitute for therapy or counselling.   
A workbook is included.

September 8 For details and to register : https://www.diversityatworkcommunications.com/events/webinar-anger-management-in-the-workplace-1-1

September 30 For details and to register:

https://www.diversityatworkcommunications.com/events/webinar-anger-management-in-the-workplace-1-1

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by diversityatworkinlondon on August 30, 2020  •  Link  •  Permalink
Posted in Diveristy Training, LIVE WEBINARS, Soft skills, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, Workplace Communication, workplace wellness
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on August 30, 2020

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2020/08/30/managing-your-anger-at-work-webinar/

Surprising Things You Might Not Have Known About Workplace Bullies


bullysmallEvelina Silveira, President Diversity at Work

 

One day lying in bed, a light bulb went on for me. Workplace bullies often struggle with the same issues as people who abuse their partners: anger management and poor communication skills. Alas, I realized that I had found the solution based on my previous experience as a Group Counsellor for a male batterer program.

I have developed a program for workplace bullies based on what I have learned from teaching anger management and communication skills to court-mandated clients who had domestic abuse charges.

Over the last 3 years, the demands for this service have escalated due to increasing awareness as well as protective legislation. People often ask me, what are they like?

 

I work with a very specific client group. Almost always, the workplace bully meets with me after an investigation. The bully employee has expert knowledge in their field and is highly valuable to the organization, thus losing them would have adverse financial effects on the workplace. The cost of my training is a bargain in comparison to losing an irreplaceable employee.

Usually, my clients are hard-working and good at what they do. But there are some definite characteristics which have rung true in almost every situation.

 

They are loyal employees. Bullies care about their workplaces and get angry when others do not care about it the way they do. These are the individuals who will “do things by the book.” Their rigidity means they like order and get upset when others deviate from it.

 

They have low self-esteem. Their opinion of themselves gets elevated when they intimidate others, especially if the other person complies with their wishes. Otherwise, they tend to be unhappy in their own skin. Most will disclose their family of origin was strict or conversely their parents felt they “could do no wrong.”

 

They do not take criticism easily. Workplace bullies take criticism extremely hard –especially the ones I deal with who excel at their given jobs. They can become defensive and tune out what the other person is saying. With a tendency to be selective listeners, bullies may hyper-focus on the negative or exaggerate the criticism.

 

They have poor self-care. Many of my clients will talk about a dependency on alcohol or substances. Others will medicate themselves with food. Poor self-care often translates into them working lots of unpaid over-time or not taking vacation. Constantly obsessing about work, bullies are worried about how the company will operate without them when they are away.

If you know an employee who needs to learn better ways of managing their anger and develop positive interpersonal skills, please contact me at: 519-659-4777 or Evelina@yourdiversityatwork.com. Learn more about this program at https://www.diversityatworkcommunications.com/sensitivity. Sign up for our promotions. Sessions usually take place face-to-face, however, online training is available upon request.

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by diversityatworkinlondon on June 24, 2019  •  Permalink
Posted in Bullying, Harassment, training to end bullying in the workplace, Uncategorized, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, Workplace Communication, Workplace diversity and inclusion
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on June 24, 2019

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2019/06/24/surprising-things-you-might-not-have-known-about-workplace-bullies/

Do You Watch ‘The Office’? My Workshop Gets At The Toughest Communication Grime! (‘Manager Michael Scott’ Needs To Attend!)


the office

 

I loved The Office. I still watch it in re-runs. It lets me laugh about situations I’ve seen again and again in actual workplaces. It’s not funny in real-life; but it’s hilarious in ‘pretend’!

IN REAL LIFE, I wasn’t laughing when I dealt with:

  • A manager wrongly accused of racism by an under-performer
  • An employee who unintentionally offended a client
  • An outreach worker who wanted to disclose community trends to alleviate a social problem but couldn’t without being falsely labelled herself

Why do these issues arise? Because ‘Awareness Training’ is not enough.

A healthy, safe, fearless workplace requires AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP. If you are an AUTHENTIC LEADER – or want to become one – then this workshop is for you.

What is an authentic leader? You’re confident, self-aware, and free to be yourself both publicly and privately. You see employees getting mired in political correctness, and the workplace climate being poisoned. You want to do something about it!

COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR DIVERSE WORKPLACES: My original, 6-HOUR, interactive workshop delivers tools that authentic leaders need to create and support openness and dialogue in the workplace.

In The Office ‘Dunder Mifflin Paper Products’ office and warehouse, people said the wrong things and lived in fear. They walked on eggshells. But they lacked the leadership to behave and communicate more successfully. In one episode, a diversity exercise became a circus of cultural stereotyping! It was funny because it resonates with everyone. Real-life offices face the same issues, but it’s never funny.

As a real-world manager, you experience:

  • Real conversation stifled because of fear of offense or ‘triggering’
  • An increase in bullying and harassment complaints/investigations

PARTICIPANTS IN MY MOST RECENT WORKSHOP (Kitchener-Waterloo YMCA) loved the workshop. In anonymous feedback, participants praised it:

 “I’m more inclined to engage in an uncomfortable dialogue than before this workshop.”

 “I received tools to work through difficult diversity dialogues.”

“Evelina created an atmosphere of openness and allowed uncomfortable conversations.”

“My favorite part was the variety of exercises and sessions.”

“This Communication Skills workshop was well-organized, on-time, and engaging.”

“I really appreciated the openness of Evelina!”

“This workshop was excellent: All the topics related to bias.”

“My favorite parts were the conversations and discussions.”

“I liked how the views and suggestions really support healthy dialogues.”

“I liked group discussions, thought-provoking conversations, and real-life examples.”

Workplaces today are quick to embrace diversity, but good intentions lead to conflict and toxicity. Sondra Thiederman calls this ‘Guerrilla Bias.’ In a workplace that picks up buzzwords, employees learn to identify as victims who are unable to cope with alternate views. No workplace can function and operate properly or effectively in this type of climate.

Authentic Leaders teach Authentic Communication

My workshop equips leaders with the skills necessary for authentic and challenging dialogues. Once in place, differences can be leveraged correctly. Differences become actual benefits, instead of becoming sticks to beat colleagues.

No manager wants their workplace evolving into a real-life version of The Office!

Risk-averse leaders cement a culture of silence. Silence leads to resentment and toxicity, which negates the potential benefits of a diverse workforce! In the wrong environment, diversity becomes a liability instead of an asset.

It doesn’t have to be this way. This is where I come in.

I understand. I hate workplace conflict. Increased calls to my anti-bullying service means workplaces are heating up because workers have stopped talking – they are afraid.

Do you blame them? I don’t.

More and more laws pop up telling us what we can and can’t say. A glance at the media shows how one wrong step, word, or tweet leads to a full-scale social-media attack and demonization.

Again: It doesn’t have to be this way. I can help.

If you want to be an authentic leader, I created my workshop for you and your organization. You’ll learn to be THE LEADER willing to take risks for the greater good of the organization, and to be a POSITIVE-COMMUNICATION MODEL for your team.

The Nitty-Gritty of COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR DIVERSE WORKPLACES:

  • A highly interactive, 6-hour workshop of my researched, original content
  • Self-reflection exercises for participants
  • Teamwork in small and large groups

But this workshop isn’t for everyone. Why? Because I challenge my participants! You won’t always feel comfortable, but discomfort is where awareness and learning begin.

YOU’LL LEARN:

  • Types of bias, and how personal bias shows up in the workplace
  • Best responses to comments/behaviours you believe are offensive
  • Approaches for justifiable accusations of bias or problematic behaviour
  • How to listen and genuinely understand someone

You’ll emerge with tools and strategies to have AUTHENTIC DIALOGUES, which are the lifeblood of constructive workplace relationships.

 Want to learn more? Interested in creating a GENUINELY authentic, diverse, and inclusive workplace? If you feel you’re an authentic leader, or that you want to learn how to become one, then this workshop is for YOU.

 Contact me to deliver this important workshop to you and your group.

Contact Evelina for more details at: 519-659-4777 evelina@yourdiversityatwork.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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by diversityatworkinlondon on February 1, 2019  •  Permalink
Posted in critical thinking, Cross Cultural Differences, Cultural Dialogues, Diveristy Training, diversity of opinion, diversity of thought, Diversity Training, Employer Brand, Implicit Bias, leadership, Leadership, Political Correctness, Professional Development, Religion in the Workplace, Soft skills, Team Building, Uncategorized, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, Workplace Communication, Workplace diversity and inclusion, workplace inclusion

Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on February 1, 2019

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2019/02/01/do-you-watch-the-office-my-workshop-gets-at-the-toughest-communication-grime-manager-michael-scott-needs-to-attend/

“You Just Don’t Fit In!”


By:  Evelina Silveira, President Diversity at Work in London Inc.  Publisher, Inclusion Quarterly

The interview has ended and you turn to the other members of your selection team and say: “He wouldn’t fit in” and they agree, passing over this candidate in favour of a less qualified one. You site all kinds of reasons like: “he is too old”, “we want people who will be fun to work with and he seems too professional”, “he seems to know more than we do”, and “his cultural dress wouldn’t fit the corporate image we’ re trying to project”. All of these are poor excuses for turning down a candidate especially if they are qualified for the job. Telling someone “they don’t fit in” is a proclamation of personal bias. Period. The ideal staff person cultivated in your head does not match the person sitting in front of you. Perhaps you were looking for a man? Someone who is of the same race as you? Or a person who doesn’t have a disability?  Were you specifically seeking a straight candidate?  You wanted someone under the age of 40?  A person who thinks like you? Someone who is less intelligent and won’t challenge you in any way?  Or who seems to lack confidence?

I remember getting hired for a job when my manager was on holidays. Figuring out that she would not want to consider me for the job because of my experience, I later learned the selection team strategically held the interviews while she was away. I was 35 and she was used to working with young women who were fresh out of school. Having “been through the trenches” of the not-for-profit world, I was full of enthusiasm and ready for the challenge of re-energizing a fledgling program. Introduced to me after coming back from her vacation, she declared: “I wanted someone who was younger and who I could mould”! Can you imagine how I felt? Clearly, I did not “fit” her ideal image of the staff she wanted to have, even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with my work.

Recently, my friend recounted a similar situation about an interviewer. Noting that she liked having young energetic staff, she  conveyed she was impressed by his many years of experience, but  added: “I just need to know that you will fit in, because everyone fits in here and I am not so sure about you”. He thought it was an odd comment to make, but decided that he would just forget about it. After getting hired, in his first week, his boss called him into her office and had some peculiar personal comments about him that had nothing to do with his work. He’s a rather introverted man who is reserved until he gets to know people.  She said: “I am really not sure you are fitting in”. You keep your door closed and you are not really interacting much with the staff”. You seem really unsociable!” B. had his door closed to block out the noise to accommodate his disability, ADHD.  This was mentioned  during his interview. While he was friendly to all staff,  he wasn’t hanging around in the hallways or in their offices gossiping as so many others were. He had a work ethic! Apparently, that was why he “wasn’t fitting in”?
If you are making hiring and retaining decisions not based on a person’s ability to do the job, but on something about them you don’t really like, (which is really what “not fitting in” is all about) this is a bad move that could end up costing you a bundle in legal fees.

As an employer you could easily be playing with fire when it comes to human rights, legislation protecting people with disabilities in the workplace and laws against bullying and harassment.

Hiring someone because they are the best person to do the job is always the right decision and having standardized documentation to support all phases of the hiring process is the way to go.

Next time, you think “that person doesn’t fit in”, challenge yourself to look at what they do bring to the workplace instead of imposing unnecessary superficial expectations on them. Take the time to understand what is happening for them. After all, a good leader makes everyone feel included no matter how different they are. It is up to you to help them “fit in” and be accepted and respected.

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by diversityatworkinlondon on February 1, 2015  •  Permalink
Posted in equitable hiring practices, Generational Differences, job ads, discriminatory hiring practices, discrimination against poor and disabled, workplace inclusion, equitable hiring practices, workplace accommodations, Ontario Human Rights Commission, Racism, Religion in the Workplace, Religious accommodation, Religious minorities in Canada, workplace accommodations, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, Workplace diversity and inclusion
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on February 1, 2015

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2015/02/01/you-just-dont-fit-in/

Quick and Easy Ideas for LGBT Workplace Inclusion


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Evelina Silveira, President, Diversity at Work in London Inc.  Author, Diversity and Inclusion on a Budget:  How to have a more engaged and innovative workforce with little or no dollars.

Pride Month is coming up and now is the time to take a look at what your organization is doing to create workplace inclusion for lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgendered employees.  Even though I am a big supporter of LGBT inclusion in the workplace and in the community at large, sometimes I find myself stumped at what can we do in our organizations to advance the cause?  I figured that there were other people out there who likely feel how I do, but don’t know where to begin.  I did some research and I came up with a few ideas below that are really quite easy to do.  You don’t have to have a big budget, but you will see that these ideas will no doubt contribute to a more caring, engaged and productive workplace.

  • Don’t assume everyone is straight.
  • Remember to communicate a zero tolerance policy that inappropriate comments or jokes will not be allowed.
  • Keep in mind that LGBT employees often have children, spouses and partners. Show interest in their lives as well.
  • “Coming–out” is usually a risky thing to do in the workplace. When someone shares this with you, thank them for their trust in you and honour their need for privacy.
  • Convey verbally and in writing that professional development and promotional opportunities are solely based on merit.
  • When you are embarking on diversity and workplace inclusion training remember to include LGBT content.
  • Include any policies or benefits to LGBT employees on your website as you would for other groups. In the case of a global operation, it is important to let employees know how LGBT company practices and societal approaches abroad may be different if a transfer or travel is involved.
  • Don’t overlook LGBT causes when you are looking for outreach opportunities in your community. Considering the prevalence of bullying and higher levels of suicide among LGBT youth, these groups could use more resources.
  • Send out a Happy Pride Month message in your newsletter, intranet or other form of communication, just as you would with any other special month.
  • Ask employees if they have any ideas to improve LGBT inclusion in the workplace or marketing/customer service efforts to this population. These questions should be posed to your employees in general and not singling out LGBT in your organization.

 

If you would like more easy and low-cost ways to make your workplace more inclusive, consider purchasing our eBook, Diversity and Inclusion on a Budget  at http://www.yourdiversityatwork.com/ebook/ .

 

 

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by diversityatworkinlondon on May 28, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Discriminatory Hiring Practices, Diversity Training, equitable hiring practices, Job Ads, LGBT, LGBT youth, Political Correctness, Positive Spaces, Pride Month, Safe Spaces, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, Workplace Communication, Workplace diversity and inclusion, workplace inclusion
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on May 28, 2014

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2014/05/28/quick-and-easy-ideas-for-lgbt-workplace-inclusion/

The Complicated Dynamic of Racism in Long Term Care


Holding Hands with Elderly Patient

 

By:  Evelina Silveira, President,   Diversity at Work in London Inc. and author of  Diversity and Inclusion on A Budget:  How to have a more engaged and innovative workforce for little or no dollars.

Go to almost any long term care facility in the London, Ontario area and the racial divide will be very visible when it comes to who is a  front-line worker versus a resident.  Race and ethnicity become very pronounced.  British name plaques sprinkled with a few Southern European ones grace the corridors of the residence.  These facilities are home to a largely female population, and the leadership is usually comprised of women of British origin.

When we look more closely however, we will see that visible minorities form a good part of the staff involved in direct service delivery.  In London, this means primarily Filipino, Sudanese, Ethiopian, Eritrean, Latin American and Eastern European women.  For the most part, the residents have had very little contact with these groups and are unfamiliar with them, and consequently   deep-rooted racism, prejudice and stereotypes are not uncommon.

We have to remember that the cultural and racial demographics did not change much until the mid 1980’s in London, Ontario.  These residents probably did not grow up, live alongside and work with people who looked different, sounded different and did things differently.   It should be expected that they may have feelings of discomfort when they are in such a vulnerable position when they have to rely on these workers for so much of their basic care and sense of safety.

However, this lack of comfort can lead to racism causing devastating consequences for these workers.  False accusations, physical assaults against the workers and racial slurs can all be hurled at the people who are entrusted to look after them.  Feeling powerless, and afraid to report any problems for fear of losing their job, many minority workers have to face the additional brunt of racism while they go about their jobs caring for our family members in low paying positions with little opportunity for advancement.

Administrators will note that while many residents may keep their racial intolerance to themselves, if they are struck with dementia their filter is often lost.  It means that racial minorities who work in dementia services will deal with the effects of racism to an even larger degree.  It is a very slippery slope as we cannot punish people with dementia for what they say, so what do we do?

There is very little in the research about what might be the best solutions to the problem of racism against direct care workers in senior residences.  It can be challenging because long term care is a resident’s home. To complicate matters, residents who are hard of hearing report real challenges understanding those who have heavy accents.  But can long term care facilities be doing more to embrace the diversity of their staff?  The answer is yes.  Here are a few suggestions, but we need more.

 1.   Advertise languages spoken at your long-term care facility. –  Use your website, boast about it in your pamphlets and create a welcome sign for your front lobby that is multi-lingual and showcases the languages spoken.

 2.  Have multicultural displays.  Work with families, residents and employees to showcase various cultures in your lobby.  You might want to designate a multicultural week where you could have display tables that residents and family members could preside.  This is a great way to let everyone know that your home respects and celebrates culture.  Don’t forget to include posters that show respect for diversity and inclusion.  Include a few new food choices.

 3.  Solicit ideas for new recreational activities.  Do you have a resident who enjoys working on a craft project that is unique to     their  country of origin?  Would they be interested in teaching others how to do it?  Your multicultural staff could provide insight into some foods, outings, music and crafts.  The possibilities are endless; all the while learning about one another can be fun.

4.  Intake Assessments.   It is important to let residents and family members know about respect policies that you may have regarding your employees.  Depending on the resident’s health condition they may or may not be able to adhere to them. Ensure that you include some culturally based questions about:  values, end-of life decisions, language spoken.

 5.  Onboarding for New Employees – Ensure that all employees are told about the supports that are available to them when it comes to any bullying, harassment and racism.  Racism can take a toll on a worker’s mental health and performance, and they need to know what it looks like and where they can report it without jeopardizing their job security.   The leadership needs to take reports of racism seriously and be prepared to create a work plan that can protect them that is respectful to the worker and the resident’s rights.

6.  Take a Team Approach.  While little can be done to change the behaviour of elderly residents, a lot can be done to create a supportive team environment for the person who is experiencing the racism, reducing some of the negative effects.  Workers may be assigned to work in pairs to deal with difficult residents or be removed from dealing with the problematic client altogether.  Communication is the key.  Remember to involve the worker in the plan.   Leaders should also take a proactive approach to speak with the resident if they are coherent and finding out what their concerns are.  The resident may have some legitimate concerns that may be wrongfully dismissed as racism.  However, if racism is the issue this is an opportunity for the leaders to demonstrate to the resident that the worker is qualified to do the job just as the rest and should be treated with the same respect.  This is an important action the leader must take to demonstrate to the worker that their concerns are treated seriously and that while he/she may not have the confidence of the resident their boss believes in them.

If your organization has faced similar situations, please leave us your comments about what worked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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by diversityatworkinlondon on April 23, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Cross Cultural Differences, Cultural Adjustment, Cultural Dialogues, Diversity Training, Education, English As a Second Langugage, Immigrants, Language Barriers, Long Term Care, New Canadians, Patient Bill of Rights, Racism, Team Building, Uncategorized, Visible Minorities and Healthcare, workplace accommodations, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, Workplace diversity and inclusion
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on April 23, 2014

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2014/04/23/the-complicated-dynamic-of-racism-in-long-term-care/

Mental Illness: Reaching Out Can Make a Difference


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Evelina Silveira, President, Diversity At Work in London Inc, Author of Diversity and Inclusion:  On A Budget

Growing up with a parent who suffered from a severe mental illness wasn’t easy.  My mother wasn’t diagnosed until she was in her fifties.  Sadly, the best parts of her life were lost to an illness that robbed her of what could have been her most joyous moments like the birth of her children and grandchildren.  Despite her daily battles with depression, anxiety, hallucinations, language barriers and poverty — somehow we all survived.  Recognizing that she could no longer work with groups of people, my mother built a small solo cleaning business where she could carve out a meager income to support her family.  Who would ever think that with so much going against her that she could maintained a business?  But proudly, I can attest that she did!

 Our national awareness campaign about mental illness reminds us that we can make a difference in someone’s mental health and I agree.  Along the way, there could have been many opportunities for people to have reached out to someone like my mom who was alone and struggling with two children – but they did not. Maybe they didn’t want to pry or perhaps they were scared.  Or worse yet, “too busy” to care.

 Each day there are people around us who suffer silently or openly.  Some have paid professionals helping them out and others have no one.  There will be those whose only interventions come from a professional, never hearing the kind gentle words of a friend, family member or even a stranger.

Have you ever been through a rough emotional time when the support of friends or family really made a difference in how you came through?  Sometimes people don’t get better because they have no one that shows them that they care.

 Helping people who are mentally ill is not just the responsibility of professionals but communities and individuals as well.  Mental illness is all around us, but sometimes we want to turn a blind eye.  It can look like:

  •  The woman who started drinking after her husband left her.
  •  The student who is getting panic attacks before his exams.
  •  The new mom who can’t stop crying and doesn’t know why.
  •  The dad who lost his job and can’t get out of bed because he feels so devastated.

 It is also:

  •  The veteran who has the pent-up anger from the battleground.
  • The child who slashes himself to release the pain.
  • The teacher who hears voices telling her that she is an evil person.

 If you know someone who is in these circumstances and you haven’t reached out, now may be the time to do so.  We cannot leave everything to professionals, but individuals living in caring communities can make a difference in someone’s recovery.

 Don’t you think so?

 Let’s start the conversation.

 I would like to hear your comments.

 If you have a mental illness and are reading this blog, what suggestions would you have for others to reach out to you?  Please leave your comments.

 If you reached out to someone today, who is affected by mental illness. Tell us about it and how you felt.

 

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by diversityatworkinlondon on January 26, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Uncategorized, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, Workplace diversity and inclusion
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on January 26, 2014

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2014/01/26/mental-illness-reaching-out-can-make-a-difference/

You’ve Come a Long Way Baby…. But They Haven’t


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Evelina Silveira, President Diversity at Work

News Flash!  Sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape are making the global headlines.  Whether it is the gang rape of women and children in India or closer to home the stories about our Royal Canadian Mounted Police and the American Military.

We have a real global problem. With all of the advances women have made we  are not taking seriously on the job.  We are still in an age where authorities will turn a blind eye to violence against women and children.  We don’t have to look very far to see that women’s basic right to safety continues to be violated even in democratic countries like India, Canada and the United States.

Our Western countries are supposedly the beacons of progress and equality – but I guess that is not the case if you are a woman who wants to enter into a patriarchal institution like the US Military and the RCMP.

I have a few questions for the officials.  Did you ever prepare to have women be a part of your forces?  What proactive steps did you take to ensure that the women would be taken seriously by yourself and those you lead? What policies were put into place? What kind of screening questions were used to disqualify members who could not work respectfully in a male/female workplace? What training was given? Did anyone ever argue that there was a  “business case” for having women in these positions? What kind of training was involved to bring acceptance and respect for fellow female officers in these institutions?   It seems like none of this happened.  Clearly the RCMP and the US Military have failed women when it comes to affording them the same respect that male officers have been given.

 A lot of pain could have been prevented that the brave women endured.  An infrastructure was needed which could have:

  • ·         screened out people who cannot work respectfully alongside members of the opposite sex,
  •        had a knowledgeable and sensitive official who the victims could trust .

We’ve come a long way indeed, but some of our institutions definitely need to catch up when it comes to workplace respect and safety for women.

If you would like more information about gender sensitivity training, please contact:

Diversity at Work   519-659-4777 or info@yourdiversityatwork.com.

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by diversityatworkinlondon on June 10, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Discriminatory Hiring Practices, Uncategorized, Workplace Bullying and Harassment, workplace inclusion
Tagged , , ,

Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on June 10, 2013

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2013/06/10/youve-come-a-long-way-baby-but-they-havent/

Thank You Mr. Milligan: A Bright Light With the Thames Valley School Board


Evelina Silveira, President Diversity At Work

So often we hear how the school system is failing to keep our children safe.  How bullying seems to be on the rise and the labour strife between the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario and the Government of Ontario doesn’t seem to want to budge.

But amid the turmoil, is a shining light at the Thames Valley District School Board — a principal who takes his job seriously when it comes to children’s safety and inclusive education.

Mr. Colin Milligan of Princess Anne French Immersion School in London, has put the “pal” back into the word “principal” with his kind but firm and professional approach to dealing with both parents and students.

He heads a large elementary school with a cross-section of  diverse children from South London and beyond.

When a group of dispondent Grade 7 children came to visit him expressing their disappointment with the withdrawal of extra-curricular activities, he listened.  Others may have turned the children away, but he decided that they would problem solve together.  They surveyed their fellow students and came up with some ideas of what they could do.  They were involved in an assembly and collaborated on a video on the theme of “Words are Powerful” and that was just the beginning!

Mr. Milligan takes bullying seriously, and he doesn’t need a school policy to tell him it is wrong.  He doesn’t tolerate it.  Not because he has to.  Because he wants to and it comes from his heart.

My daughter spends a lot of time in the principal’s office and so do her friends.  Not because they are in trouble, but because they like him and they want to work with him to build the best school possible. Their education has been enriched by the projects, teamwork and nurtured friendships.  When I get a call from the school principal, it’s a good thing.

(In my day, going to the principal’s office to talk about a problem was unthinkable.  You might as well suffer in silence until graduation because they acted more like sergeants than role models. Change is good).

Thank you also to Madame Wilkie the school’s Vice Principal who is also another empathetic ear, a real gem and a great role model for the students.

Merci Madame et Monsieur pour ton bon travail.  Felicitations!

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by diversityatworkinlondon on December 17, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Education, Flash Strikes, Ontario Teachers, Ontario Teachers Federation of Ontario, Principals, Thames Valley District School System, Workplace Bullying and Harassment
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Posted by diversityatworkinlondon on December 17, 2012

https://diversityandinclusionatwork.com/2012/12/17/princessannthames-valley-school-board/

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